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Sunday October 27 2013
Mock the Quotes: Hipster Thohir

Erick Thohir seeks obscure Inter players, the Silvio Doctrine returns and Juve’s guns backfire as Susy Campanale finds the week’s oddest statements.

“An Inter player from the past who has impressed me? Nicola Ventola. Why him? Anyone could say Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, but it says something else by knowing other players.”

New owner Erick Thohir is a hipster patron. At least he didn’t say Vratislav Gresko...

“When I took over, it was both a joy and a responsibility. There were wonderful moments, but it was also a real pain!”

The feeling among Inter fans was mutual, Massimo Moratti

“I saw the machine guns and they brought us luck. We replied with four rifle shots.”

Andrea Della Valle notes Carlos Tevez and Paul Pogba couldn’t handle Gabriel Batistuta’s celebration

“I may have won this match, but I forgot my wife’s birthday!”

Eusebio Di Francesco earned both his place on the Sassuolo bench and sleeping on the couch

“There was absolutely not an elbow, but I still have to laugh, because if that can be considered a ‘clear scoring opportunity’ then so is everything... “

Antonio Conte knows Cristiano Ronaldo is good, but he’s not THAT good

“Thohir was sending me texts throughout on what he was feeling during the game and he was also gutted at the end about what happened.”

Moratti had never seen so many emoticons

“My father is happy, as some of the tactical suggestions he gave to Massimiliano Allegri were received.”

Barbara Berlusconi confirms the Silvio Doctrine: Take the credit for success, blame the Coach for failure

“In Italy the fans, media and clubs judge you on your performance. In Spain from the age of 31 you are already over.”

Even using Just for Men didn’t convince them to bet on Luis Figo

“I’m a different player to Francesco Totti. I have less quality but I can offer the side something different.”

Such as Marco Borriello’s amusing facial hair

“We agreed a swap deal with Sporting Lisbon between Marcelo Salas and Cristiano Ronaldo. Salas travelled to Portugal, but backed out and went to River Plate instead.”

Luciano Moggi gives Juventus fans one more reason to dislike Salas

“We work on strength very differently. I have never done that, used machines I did not know about. And there are other workouts that leave you exhausted.”

Fernando Llorente is no fan of the Abdominizer

“It was an extraordinary chance to take the lead and I won’t sleep tonight, as I keep wondering whether Robinho missed the ball or had left it because he thought Kaka was behind him.”

Rest easy, Adriano Galliani, it was a horrible miss

“Perhaps in the first half our minds were on Pandurii...”

Vincenzo Montella says Juve weren’t the only ones with big European games coming up

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Have your say...
this article is nonesense
on the 27th October, 2013 at 11:35am

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