BLOG ITALIA
Sunday October 20 2013
Mock the Quotes: The Cup Whisperer

Javier Zanetti talks to his trophies, Giuseppe Rossi has Twitter withdrawal symptoms and Tino Asprilla is back as Susy Campanale has the week’s oddest comments.

“When I carried the Champions League trophy and put it next to my locker, I spoke to it. I told the trophy that I’d been chasing it for a long time and finally it was in my arms.”

If this were anyone other than Javier ‘Nicest Man In Football’ Zanetti, it would seem freaky

“A Twitter ban at the World Cup? I’d suffer! No, I’m joking. Well, a little bit...”

#GiuseppeRossiAsGrumpyCat

“I had great qualities and if I had worn the jersey of Juventus, Milan or Inter, perhaps I’d have won the Ballon d’Or. With all due respect, if Pavel Nedved won it...”

How reassuring to know the years have not dented Tino Asprilla’s ego

“I spent 10 days in prison, then they couldn’t handle me anymore... As for the training ground incident, it was a toy gun, just a joke to motivate my teammates. I now have a team of youngsters and enjoy time with my family, friends and women! That’s not banned, is it?”

As if rules would stop Asprilla!

“Mario Balotelli is like a jazz musician.”

Zanetti points out he is also beloved by many, utterly unbearable to others and prone to sudden outbursts of violent noise

“If Cesare Prandelli called everyone except me then he must have a reason in his mind, even though I don’t know or understand what it is. Never mind, I won’t cry about it.”

That’s exactly the kind of attitude that makes Antonio Cassano such a valued member of the locker room

“I am rooting as an Inter fan and for Inter, but not for Walter Mazzarri, I do not give a damn about him, I am interested in what Inter achieve.”

We’re confident the feeling is mutual, FantAntonio

“We are trying to work out why we suffer in friendlies and games where the result doesn’t count for that much.”

Because it’s only then that Davide Astori gets a game for Italy?

“As Ciro Ferrara used to say, you’ve got to follow the striker even when he goes to the toilet.”

Fabio Cannavaro explains the lost art of defending required real personal sacrifices...

“For some time I’ve been saying that Buffon is not as reactive as he was. That is not a criticism, but a statement of fact. Now he saves what he can, whereas before he performed miracles.”

Fulvio Collovati downgrades Gigi to a mere mortal

 “In a nation that doesn’t have its own football League, I think I did a good job.”

Giovanni Trapattoni clearly spent a lot of time scouting Shamrock Rovers, then

“If people play like this, then they can’t ask me for more time on the field.”

Max Allegri realised Milan have the strength in depth of puddle

“I believe Napoli will finish on top with Juve second and Roma third. Mind you, I always get predictions wrong...”

Vincenzo Montella was first in line to buy a Betamax

“My father was in the stands and he has a moustache, so I celebrate like that for him.”

Alessandro Florenzi’s Dad is Italy’s top Groucho Marx impersonator

“In the movie, Pepe Reina surprised me with his acting skills!”

Aurelio De Laurentiis knows strikers tend to be the best at play-acting...

“If I don't touch the ball, even if I've already scored twice, I feel rubbish. Even if it's just a pass, I need to touch the ball.”

Ishak Belfodil reveals his OCD tendencies

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