“I wear very special pyjamas now. It is made up of the Milan shirt Mario Balotelli was wearing when I saved his penalty and some Napoli shorts.”
We can only hope Pepe Reina washed it first, otherwise that’s just incredibly creepy
“He didn’t even catch his face. It was absolutely not a punch.”
Massimiliano Allegri insists Philippe Mexes should receive bonus points for inaccuracy
“Overall I’d say we were not inferior to Roma.”
Walter Mazzarri considers 3-0 to be a close-run match. Now 7-0, THAT is a victory...
“Who is crazier, Zlatan Ibrahimovic or Balotelli? Neither of them are crazy, they just have strong personalities and are two big characters. Do I really have to choose one who is crazier? Balotelli.”
Marco Verratti chose the man he spent the least time with, which gives you an idea of how off the scale SuperMario really is
“I am not remotely surprised that people are trying to destabilise the collective and damage the club’s environment. We haven’t lost yet and these murmurs are the enemy, the enemy that is hiding in every corner.”
Antonio Conte channels a combination of Jose Mourinho and Richard Nixon
“In Europe we had more shots on goal than any other team, which is an important and positive statistic.”
Juve also converted only three of them, which is a statistic Conte slightly overlooked
“I don’t understand why this rule is only in Italy. And it makes no sense to close a stadium when they are already empty, fantastic…”
Adriano Galliani should suggest a ban on games televised live – can the ultras handle a legion of annoyed armchair fanatics?
“There is no such thing as a first class and second class discrimination.”
Mayor of Naples Luigi De Magistris insists his city is so put-upon that even their discrimination is discriminated against
“In Tuscany the local rivalries are dominant. I remember when our fans chanted to Empoli that their stadium was made by IKEA. For these mocking chants, I think the term ‘discrimination’ is excessive.”
Fiorentina director Sandro Mencucci believes offensive chants should be rated on how funny they are too
“Osvaldo was aiming for my knee, wasn’t he? Of course!”
Alberto Aquilani thanks Dani for his totally intentional assist
“The people must realise that this is my club, it does not belong to everybody, so I will control it the way I see fit. There is no such thing as a professional fan.”
You can see why President Claudio Lotito is so popular with the Lazio supporters, can’t you?
“The transfer to Napoli collapsed because there was some uncertainty over who would be the Coach.”
So Mobido Diakitè chose Sunderland, that bastion of managerial stability
“I like to do the dirty work.”
Nigel De Jong could mean tackling or twerking
“I’m the sort that doesn’t think screaming at the lads is useful – in my opinion you have to assert your authority every day in training.”
Vincenzo Montella shelved the hairdryer and prefers the straightening irons
“If stranded on a desert island, I’d choose to be left with Simone Pepe, as at least I’d be sure of having some laughs.”
Plus, adds Fabio Quagliarella, he comes pre-seasoned to go on the barbecue
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