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Saturday June 22 2013
Mock the Quotes: Zen Pirlo

While Andrea Pirlo masters free kicks and understatement, Mario Balotelli is told to cover up and Cagliari find their stadium as Susy Campanale sums up the week’s silliest comments.

“I originally tried to imitate the way Juninho Pernambucano hit the ball. It worked.”

Andrea Pirlo: Master of Understatement

“As for Mario, he’s got to stop showing off his muscles.”

Cesare Prandelli is no fan of the Balotelli Gunshow

“I didn’t know there was this rule about the two bookings leading to a suspension in this tournament.”

Balotelli pleads ignorance...

“I had told Mario before the game not to get booked, as with two cards he’d get suspended.”

...and Pirlo reveals Balo is either lying or has the memory of a goldfish

“I met marvellous people behind bars. When Cagliari scored the walls felt like they were coming down, as everyone was banging pots and pans. I swore to myself I would repay those fans.”

President Massimo Cellino can solve two problems in one fell swoop by using the Cagliari prison yard as their new home stadium

“I know that I have no experience, but I’ve played football for 20 years. I haven’t been a fisherman or a builder.”

Although Gennaro Gattuso did at times play like one

“In Europe where I come from a lot of people think the world never changes. I don’t see it that way.”

Alberto Zaccheroni is prepared to admit the world is not flat

“You go where you are wanted.”

Except Chelsea, adds Rafa Benitez

“For me, it is not about money.”

Claudio Marchisio just wants to make the world dance

“In Switzerland Kyle Lafferty hasn’t scored many goals, so we hope he can get them here.”

Palermo President Maurizio Zamparini is grasping at ludicrously optimistic straws

“The protests from the Curva were intelligent. Perhaps in your place I’d have written worse things on the banners or jeered myself!”

Massimo Moratti has been spotted aiming enough swearwords at Inter players from the stands to confirm that’s true

“It was a good game and we were the much better team. Only one team deserved to win and that was us. It’s very hard to take when you are the better team. It’s not always the team who deserves to win that does win.”

It’s nice to see Holland Under-21 Coach Cor Pot be so gracious in defeat

“This idea of a miniature camera on the players’ shirts could bring fans the sensation of being increasingly inside the match.”

Because Players’ Association President Damiano Tommasi knows everyone wants a nipple-eye view of Marco Borriello diving

“The muscular problems we’ve had in training just shows that we worked with great intensity.”

Prandelli wonders why Andrea Stramaccioni didn’t think of that excuse

“We are not like other clubs who qualify for a tournament, then regret it and want to be eliminated as soon as possible.”

Cellino is naming no Udineses, er, we mean names

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Have your say...
If Cellino wants to repay the fans be better think twice about selling Naiggolan!

As for Moratti, with all the "fire branca" banners in the stands he still refuses to read them!

Gattuso spent half of his career on the ground wasting time as he rolls around killing time before the final whistle - i'm not expecting any spectacular soccer from him at all just boring defensing "catenaccio" poor Palermo fans. At least Gasperini won't be coaching them..........
on the 24th June, 2013 at 4:01pm
Ya, but I predict major upset in world cup unlike we know or have seen before.
on the 22nd June, 2013 at 6:59pm
We will lose to brazil today. It's an easy assumption. The midfield will struggle to provide any great scoring chances and the attack will lack pace. Doesn't really matter anyway since we're through already. 3-1 or 2-0 brazil. Just being realistic.
on the 22nd June, 2013 at 6:05pm
"Claudio Marchisio just wants to make the world dance" lol you're the best Susy!
on the 22nd June, 2013 at 1:54pm
Loooooool
on the 22nd June, 2013 at 12:33pm

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